Well, howdy, friend. I suppose you reckoned I’d done gone and disappeared in a seamless maelstrom deep in the great sea. Well, I haven’t. I am back from my unexcused absence, and we’re going to be doing some things differently. Before I continue, let me just clarify, that’s right I am reviewing Best of Ancient Aliens, the History Channel show. It is not an indie game, it is not even a game at all.
There are several reviews all through Mr. Dave Pizza. It’s time to broaden the horizons though. Things were starting to get a bit robotic, so I just stopped for a while. I even cut down on internet time quite dramatically, and it felt good, a little too good. This site has been my brainchild since the middle of last year, primarily an indie game focus, and I just want to show you I can do something else. So, without further ado, let’s get into some wacky stuff!
One other note, instead of my usual HD screencaps typical to my posts, I just did some camera grabs from my phone which will make this a lot easier–it’s also a little more casual, the nature of this post
Let’s Get Ancient
So, I’ve been wanting to sit down with this show and see what it was all about. I am working on a space theme right now, although I didn’t realize how complex that would be. If you’re unfamiliar with the Ancient Aliens program from History Channel, let me explain it a bit–most likely you know of it though. The idea is to take a regular historical documentary, throw in a thesis that aliens actually had a major role in ancient civilizations on Earth, then sit back as an eccentric ensemble of experts deconstructs your entire reality, and it is epic.
When I first had the idea to review this show, I honestly thought it was going to be a little silly and I’d chuckle a bit and share parts. Within about 5 minutes of the show, however, I started to realize this was actually going to be very very interesting and even compelling. How long did that feeling last? Basically the whole time, with dramatic segues peppered throughout.
The DVD, which I got from the local library, yusss, is broken up into 4 categories: The Evidence, Mysterious Places, The American West, and Mayan Conspiracy. Each is a different flavor sample from the Ancient Aliens TV series up until its creation. The DVD was made in 2012, but Ancient Aliens has continued on since its release, so it is more of a reiteration of the early shows. Besides that, an easier way to think of it is disc one is the core, and disc two is slightly more out there but still compelling.
PICTURE DROP: THE EVIDENCE:
I probably could have done that differently.
Rock Stuff
Each category had at least one topic that was totally exciting. You wouldn’t think that carved stones could be so interesting until you watch what they explain here about stacking granite slabs that weigh 1200 TONS into a door and compare it to today’s masonry. Additionally, there is a brilliant exposition of the granite drills with millimeter-level precision that have been upheld for thousands of years. Hmm, alright, I’m intrigued now. The intro is very exciting because over the first few sections you’re just blasted with YUP MMHMM ALIENS DEF, and it’s hard to deny. Excuse my erudite vocabularistic edict in that last assertion.
Danger, Will Robinson, The Manna Machine
My favorite section from the Evidence episodes is about the radioactive alien manna machine in the Zohar. Here’s the idea, the artist re-creates the description of the machine described in a Kabbalistic text called the Zohar. Turns out that it can create algae-based protein food using natural processes that would occur in the desert during the 40 nights and 40 days in the Bible. It has all sorts of valves and grids and tubes that would actually work even though this text is centuries old. Not quite as old as the show might make you think, but still pretty old, like the 14th century or so.
There’s also a section about this flying capsule in ancient India with various diagrams and interpretations. This is kind of on par, and I’m not going to discount it, but that is the main idea behind section one.
Best of Ancient Aliens: Mysterious Places
I enjoyed learning about mysterious places like Bermuda Triangle and lay lines. It is really quite interesting when you start to realize that geographically, sacred and mystery sites tend to line up. This section combined with the American West episode on effigies will probably boggle your noggin if you give it a chance. I don’t know what I really have to say about it, but the idea of aliens creating shortcuts using our planet’s geometry seems sort of compelling honestly.
I kept thinking about the UFO video that was released recently with some flowerpot-like capsules drifting easily in the atmosphere. Lots of UFOs are temporary and then quickly disappear. Yeah, it actually makes perfect sense. I did not doubt the first-hand account of the pilot they interviewed who said he flew through an electromagnetic fog and somehow arrived at his destination somehow not long after he took off.
It’s possible. Right? Is it? I don’t know, gives me something to contemplate. If we can’t make it into the cosmos using rockets, maybe we can just find the door on Earth. This idea equally interests me and also terrifies me. I wouldn’t hold it against you to think whatever you want about it.
Cowboys and Aliens, Literally The Movie
I chuckled when disc two opened up to a section about the 2011 film Cowboys and Aliens. Man, I didn’t realize that movie was so old. I feel really weird now. I liked the idea but have not seen it. Luckily it is explained thoroughly… Okay. In all fairness, they do relate it to several Wild West accounts as gracefully, mostly, as the pulsing mega-brain pharaohs, or whoever was in charge, I guess. It’s packaged with Harrison Ford. I saw Ford on a TV interview with Abrams just before I watched this so I was a little bit spooked, but it’s aliens, so par for the course I guess.
I was very interested in the desert in Mexico, La Zona del Silencio. Phones, compasses, and other things just go haywire there and it’s super filled with alien stories. It was kind of fresh because I honestly hadn’t heard of it until this. What an intriguing place.
I was even more interested in the effigies. The one lined up with the meteor crater filled with iridium and matching a constellation. Pretty good show. I really do have to wonder why these images around the world made into the landscape are only visible from the sky. I guess maybe it was possible with hot air balloons. You know, made my weird shaman engineers, but I don’t know how much that explanation would hold up either. It is indeed intriguing.
Best of Ancient Aliens: Mayans
The Mayan section was very educational, even as the last topic. They truly were a very sophisticated ancient civilization. I would no way in heck want to be one though. Even as sophisticated as they were, they made ruthless sacrifices that reminded me of the film Apocalypto. They left some very detailed information about their cosmic calculations, however, that gets some credence.
Best of Ancient Aliens: Final Frontier
Well, that’s it. I had a lot more to say about this than I anticipated. It’s an interesting series, perhaps summarized best in this DVD, which is also available on Blu-Ray. Right now most of my reviews are indie games. But I want to review more random interests that compel me, so if you like this, stop by again. Have a look around and read as much as you like, it’s free! Thanks for reading MrDavePizza.com.
